I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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