Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
