Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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