She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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