vagina is talking i cant
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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