He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I party with great urgency now.
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