I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
