Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize