I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
