You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
