I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
