using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
