I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
