there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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