is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
