At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
