Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
