ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize