i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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