i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
