fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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