Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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