So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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