Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
