so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you never un-have a 4some
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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