I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
