So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
