Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
