woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
