and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
