nut hugger
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
