I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
