yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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