my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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