woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
a search helicopter?!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Maybe he injected his testicle?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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