Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
