ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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