i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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