Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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