your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
After last night, I could never be a politician.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
