the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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