I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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