Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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