Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
