Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
