Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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