Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
