He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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