She's JV to your varsity
Screwed.edu
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
