ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
