Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
