I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
