I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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