if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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