I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
