they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
