I'm really into asian looking animals
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
