I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
