is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Welp...herpes.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
