I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
